Growing up, I associated coaching with sports. Coaches ran drills, designed plays, and screamed at you from the sidelines. Coaches challenged you, believed in you, and helped you win. Life coaching doesn't seem all that different - just with less screaming (so far).

My first brush with coaching wasn’t in your typical 1:1 session. It was during a job interview of sorts. I showed up prepped with all the usual answers: strengths, weaknesses, leadership experience, what I could bring to the role, etc. But the conversation took an unexpected turn, and I was wildly unprepared for where it went. It got personal and a little uncomfortable, in the best way possible. I walked away with way more clarity about what I wanted in my career, and plenty more food for thought after. My mind kept coming back to that conversation for days, even weeks. And I remember thinking, one day, I’d love to do that for others too.

Photo by Bruno Guerrero on Unsplash

So what is life coaching exactly?

To me, life coaching is about getting unstuck, whether it’s related to work, relationships, health, or something deeper. Coaches don’t tell you what to do. Instead, they use questions and tools to help you figure out what really matters and so you can move forward.

Coaching often gets mixed up with other methods of support, particularly mentoring, counselling and therapy. To be fair, the lines are often blurred in practice. But I’ve found this (super simplified) way of thinking about them to be a useful frame of reference.

  • Coaching helps individuals discover their own solutions to achieve goals/breakthroughs.
  • Mentoring provides wisdom and guidance from someone more experienced.
  • Counselling helps individuals cope with current emotional issues.‍
  • Therapy works to heal deeper psychological problems, often rooted in the past.

But if coaches don’t have the answers, how does life coaching work?

We tend to get stuck in our own heads, and I say this from personal experience. When you’re too close to a problem, it’s hard to see the bigger picture. Coaching can help you zoom out, get clarity, and notice things you might have missed. On the flip side, maybe everything feels overwhelming and you don’t even know where to start. Coaching can also help break things down, so you figure out what the real challenges are and focus on addressing what matters most.

Most of us also don’t make time or space to sit with our thoughts. We rush from one activity to the next - especially in a place like Singapore, where being “busy” is practically a badge of honour. Coaching forces you to slow down. It gives you space to reflect without distractions. Good coaches create a safe space where you can be vulnerable, speak freely and process your thoughts without fear of judgement. And more often than not, just saying things out loud shifts how you see them.

What if coaching isn’t for me?

(Then this blog is perfect!)

The reality is that not everyone wants or needs a life coach. Getting coached requires a considerable investment of time, money, and emotional energy. But even if life coaching isn’t for you, there are many coaching principles that could help improve different parts of your life. For example…

  • Listening more deeply
  • Asking open questions
  • Practicing curiosity over judgement
  • Supporting someone without trying to problem-solve

… just to list a few. With these small shifts, you could build better relationships, strengthen teams, and create better workplaces. So why not try?

That’s really what I want this blog to be about - to share what I’ve learnt from coaching, and offer suggestions on how you can apply these principles to make life just that much better.

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